So, I guess I have a bit of catching up to do, since I haven't written for a while. Things are going pretty well here-- a little complicated in my personal life, but it's working itself out the way it should and I don't really want to go into that in this blog.
School is coming to a plateau, in other words I'm losing my motivation in class. I think the reason for that is because first of all, none of my classes are very hard, so I don't really have to study for any of them, and second of all, none of them are really counting towards my major, so I feel like they don't really matter. I need to turn on the good student switch in my brain so I can make the most of my time in classes here, which will help my spanish improve.
It's just funny how huge of a difference my academic life is here than it is in Corvallis. At OSU I study ALL the time (the library is my second home), and do ALL of my homework, and basically what I am learning in school is a major part of my life (as it should be, since I'm at college for a reason). But here, I don't ever really need to go to the library here and since classes are so easy I have time to do a lot of other things. Here, I'm just not worrying about academics. It's actually a really nice break, and I'm really glad that this is how it has worked out. It's kind of given me an opportunity to see a different side of myself, the side that doesn't include the studious library resident. I've ha the opportunity to think more about the people I am spending my time with here, and building relationships with those people. It's also given me more time to explore this country and learn about the culture. I have also been very stress-free which is a very nice break.
The thing that I am learning though, as lame as this may sound, is that I actually really like who I am when I am at OSU, because I really love how I have to organize my time, be efficient, and be learning constantly. For example, I totally miss having to use my planner to write in all of the assignments and when they're do in different colors and with little boxes next to them to check off when they're finished. I guess I miss having a full busy day, and I miss having to work out exactly what I need to do with my time. This has showed me a lot about my personality and what I want my life to be like. Right now, I am totally fine with this break, but I guess this has just showed me that I can handle a lot more, and that I ENJOY handing a lot more. This is really encouraging to me, since I plan on being a doctor. I'm learning that I really do need to have a life that has a good amount of busy time to it, and a lot of constant learning. I know that I wouldn't be fulfilled doing something that gave me a ton of free time and little responsibility.
Anyway, so there's a nice little epiphany I've gotten out of my time here so far. Another thing that I've learned while being here is how to completely let go and go with the flow and have no clue what is going on and no control to change it and to just accept it and be okay with it. There have been so many instances where I have just had no idea what was going on, or how long I would have to wait for something. I would say I'm a pretty inquisitive person who likes to understand her surroundings and what's going on around her, so when a language and culture barrier prevents that, it makes a funny, uncomfortable, or frustrating situation. I'm totally okay with that now, and I'm getting better at just accepting that. I think ultimately it will be really good for my character, because it will take a lot for me to get uptight or stressed about something, and I will learn to accept things that I can't control.
On a less serious note, as I've been learning that language here I've realized that a major part of a person's personality and the way that they are able to express themselves is due to the language that they use, and that can't always translate over into a different language. When I talk to me Ecuadorian friends, I have realized that I don't always feel like myself, and the reason for that is because I'm speaking in spanish and can't use all the little words or phrases or undertones that I use in my English communication.
One example is that there is no direct translation for the word "awkward" in the spanish language. My friends and I have been trying to find a way to express the word awkward, and we've been asking Ecuadorians, and trying to explain how the word is actually used. We've basically concluded that there really is no way to express exactly what the one simple word "awkward" expresses in English, which is really a shame, because awkward pretty much sums up the majority of our encounters and experiences here.
While I'm on the subject of awkward, I thought I might tell a little story about something pretty embarrassing and funny that happened to me. I have a friend here, Annie, whose host parents are poets, and in the process of selling a poetry book that they just completed. Annie invited me and two other friends to come to a poetry reading of there's. We came and sat through the presentation (it was incredibly boring and difficult to understand and I was fidgeting the whole time), and when it ended we got up and Annie said that she wanted to introduce us to her Abuelita (grandma). We followed her through the crowd over to this woman sitting on the edge of all the commotion. Annie greeted her and gave her a kiss on the cheek, and they exchanged a little bit of small talk. She looked kind of old enough to be a grandma, and I just figured she was her Abuelita. Annie hadn't introduced any of us to her, and we were all kind of awkwardly standing around, so I thought it would be a good idea to introduce myself. I leaned down to her to give her a greeting kiss on the cheek and said, "Hola, soy Breanna." The woman smiled awkwardly and gave me kind of a weird look, and didn't really say anything. Then Annie and the others said Chao and started slowly walking away, pulling me with them. As you can probably guess, that woman was NOT Annie's Abuelita, so I had just made a big gringa fool of myself. I don't know if I explained it well enough to give justice to how funny and horribly awkward it was, but we seriously could not stop laughing afterwards, and whenever we remind ourselves of it it's just as funny.
Another pretty horrible thing happened on the University campus when Sierra and I were walking along and talking about Ecuadorians and dating. We were talking about how it would just be a bad idea to date an Ecuadorian because of the fact that we would be going home in three months and because of the cultural difference and everything. I don't remember which one of us it was who said it, but one of us blurted out in a very audible volume, "Yeah, I would NEVER date an Ecuadorian." During our conversation, we had been oblivious to the fact that we were walking right behind two Ecuadorian guys, and at the moment we said that, they both turned around with looks of amused disbelief (We often forget that every student on the PUCE campus can speak at least a little bit of English, since it's required to be accepted into the University). We were speechless for a split second, then began sputtering out the explanation as to why we thought that, but it was too late, and nothing we could have said could have made them change their mind that we were a couple of conceited and ethnocentric gringas from the US, further supporting the general stereotype. We felt HORRIBLE and hoped that we never saw them again and that they didn't tell anyone what had happened.
Well, I hope you have enjoyed what I've had to say about my experience. There will be more to come soon.
Chao!
